VAWA

Tonight's post is going to be centered around violence against women. In light of the significance of this week - between all of the controversy and debate going on over VAWA (Violence Against Women Act), v-day, and One Billion Rising, as well as personal significance - it seems appropriate.

Relevant links:

V-day.

One Billion Rising.

VAWA and Native American women.

VAWA home.

Huffington Post articles on VAWA.

Argument against VAWA.

After a week without consistent access to the internet, I owe a few posts. However, I am going to try to appease the masses by achieving one very important, very succinct one.

I do not hate men. As a feminist, I am often seen as a raging, man-hating, no-shaving, vegan lesbian woman. Only half of those are true (sometimes-raging, most of the time too-lazy-to-shave, always a lesbian). I do not hate men, and I tried to be vegan once (amidst my on-and-off five-year stretch of vegetarianism), but I failed. Horribly. The least true of all of these is that I hate men. Most of my closest friends are males; I generally get along with them better than females. They suit my personality and style more. For whatever reason, I like men. Just not sexually. The fact that I like men so much just makes this so much harder.

It is a downright, abhorrent shame that there are some kinds of men (or people in general) out there who commit such ludicrous acts of violence against innocent women. These kinds of people give the great kinds a horrible name, and create a collectively-feared stereotype. These groups make a girl nervous to walk in a parking garage alone after dusk, make it dangerous to walk a few blocks home. They make it necessary to lock doors, carry mace, talk on your phone while you walk alone, double check to make sure your outfit isn't too "provocative," and whatever else you can think of that you do, without even realizing, to protect yourself from violence.

These kinds of people turn the people we love into monsters, unable to control themselves simply because they're male. While we know that's not true, and it seems stupid to even mention it...there are men out there who make it seem plausible. There are people who take an independent woman's strong sexuality as a casualty; see it as something to be taken advantage of - if a woman is proud of her body and open with her sexuality, she is easy, not confident. Why?

Is it because we are still, in some perverted way, seen as property? Maybe something needed to be conquered? Are we the last frontier in the patriarchal voyage of exploration and degradation? Whatever it is, it's irrelevant. It shouldn't be an issue. Not today, in the 21st century. Not when women's rights are table-talk, women's studies programs are growing exponentially, we have women running for political offices left and right (and being so close to succeeding). Society today shouldn't be so barbaric that we can't get into our own homes safely without being terrified the entire way there.

We shouldn't feel as though we have to blame ourselves; we don't. There's nobody here to blame but those who commit these atrocious acts towards women and children - whether physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal violence...it needs to end. We need to stop being told by media and popular culture that whatever happens to us, as women, we are asking for it. We aren't. The girl down the street doesn't deserve to be raped for wearing a skirt that's a bit above her knees. The one who sits next to you in class doesn't deserve to be called a slut or a whore, because she kissed a boy at a party last weekend. The one who turned Johnny down when he asked her out isn't necessarily a dyke, and she doesn't deserve to be called one just for that. (As a side note, we're reclaiming words like "dyke," and "slut." You can't hurt us by using names we proudly give ourselves.)

If you haven't, please, please, please read up on VAWA and the other important issues surrounding it. If you're a woman, or you happen to love one (or many), if you have a mother, a sister, or whomever...you owe it to them and yourself to at least be informed and aware.

Now is the time to end it. I realize world peace is the most ideal goal ever, and unattainable because everyone would have to work together - but that's how this is going to work, too. One person can be a catalyst for an entire movement, but it takes an entire movement to save that one person sometimes.