Freedom of Speech

Side note. Tomorrow!

On that note. I had the lovely opportunity of discussing street harassment in my WCP class this morning. A lot of good things were said, and a few amazingly disturbing things were. One of the ones that literally made my jaw drop, was a peer defending street harassment as "freedom of speech." This isn't meant as an attack on that person, but rather my need to acknowledge the fact that so many people today have no real understanding of the Bill of Rights, and their intensive purpose of protecting all citizens. I understand that things like this are actually relatively common in Intro classes - that's part of why they're offered. To educate. It just makes me sad to think that so many men and women don't understand the actual limitations and boundaries of these laws. Yes, freedom of speech and expression exists; but only to the extent that your "speech" isn't detrimental or violating to another's civil and human rights.

To defend street harassment as an extension of free speech is, in a sentence, to diminish the victims of such harassment to something sub-human. The perpetrators of street harassment, and other forms, forego their rights to such protections as "free speech" once they infringe upon the rights of others to comfort and safety in a public space.

The idea behind street harassment is that the street is a public area, and as such, as a "male" area - one in which masculinity and males are in charge. Not public in the sense of "it should be safe," but public in the sense that it is free from the safety that comes with a neutral space. Neutral and public are not synonymous. Historically, women's places and roles are privatized, meant to be in the home; and men's roles are publicized, in government or economic sectors. By relegating discussion to a public atmosphere, there is sometimes an inherent assumption that it's "man's terrain." Also relevant.

I still want neutrality.

Three days ago I was unidentifiable as male or female. I leaned way further towards the masculine side of my identity; baggy pants, a loose-fitting sweater and a collared shirt. No gendered jewelry - no jewelry at all asides from my ring. There was no makeup, my hair wasn't "done," and there was nothing noticeably feminine about my appearance. No one held doors for me or addressed me as "ma'am." I got confused looks from people trying to categorize me as they passed me. I received verbal identification at the hands of other people.

Today I'm wearing a short skirt, a low-cut shirt, tights. A complimenting bra. My hair isn't done but it's a bit less disheveled. I am, unmistakably, a woman. People are holding doors for me. I'm getting female pronouns like no other. I even feel a bit like a woman.

With a simple outfit change and the wind switching directions, I can create and change how people perceive and treat me. I like the flexibility, but sometimes, it isn't comfortable.

Even when I get dressed to go out, I have to take into account where I'm going and who I'm going with. The location and environment I'll be in determines how safe I feel in either gender. When I go to urban areas at night with friends, it's a huge battle - I feel more comfortable as a masculine being, because I know the dangers women are presented with in these areas. But I also think, what if I run into someone who isn't as comfortable with my nonconformity as those I'm with? Will I be harassed more for being a woman or for choosing not to appreciate that?

What it comes down to is that I am always both. Whatever personality I choose to present as at a given time, the other half is still inescapably alive. Even on days like today, when I feel as though it's appropriate to present as more feminine, I find parts of myself still feeling horrifically uncomfortable in feminine clothing; I keep readjusting to try to make myself less obvious, less exposed.

I enjoy the privacy that comes with presenting as masculine, but I equally enjoy the privilege that comes with aligning my gender representation and my biological sex. That's a privilege that only cisgender people know, and it's still one I'm learning to accommodate. With this privilege comes a sense of guilt, a sense of obligation. I feel a little bit like Peter Parker. When I choose to present as feminine, I feel a responsibility to educate people that yes, I'm a woman today. But regardless of how I look or act, I still prefer gender-neutral pronouns, and I still have obvious male tendencies. It doesn't just confuse them, it confuses me too. How can I expect to be cisgender on one day and semi-transgender the next, and maintain that I still have a right to live between these worlds? It doesn't seem fair to those around me. The duality in my own body and mind are a great source of conflict, and I'm still working out how to live out both ends of it, without repressing one or the other.

In learning to embrace both sides of my identity, I've learned a lot about respect - self-respect and respect towards others. I'm beginning to see evidence of ambiguity more and more often, everywhere I look. In a way, not being certain of who, or what, I am, is making me more certain of who I want to be and what I want to find in the world around me. Seeing people's varied reactions towards my various selves is an educational sociological experience, and it's always different.

To realize, every day, that the world and everything in it remains in a constant state of change (a bit of an oxymoron), is to realize that there's a new kind of freedom out there. To be unsure in a sure world is to receive a little gift every single morning.

Could Androgyny Eradicate Sexism?

I realize that for this to even be an inkling of a plan, every human individual would have to commit to androgyny, or some form of it.

The other night I went out with a friend and her family for her birthday dinner. As we sat at the table, the waiter referred to me as "bud." I'm still unclear about whether he just thought I was a male, or a young boy (the more likely possibility). It was an enlightening experience when I realized that I wasn't offended in the least, and actually, it was my first "passing" for something other than my biological sex since I've come out as gender-fluid/queer, whatever you want to call it. If I can pass for a man, or even a boy, I think I'm okay with that. Unfortunately, things escalated in a negative way from there. One of my friend's family members commented on my androgyny, and claimed that at first, he "didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl." This is something I get a lot from small children, and I'm fine with that. If I can give children a reason to question their perception of gender at such a young age, I'm doing something no one ever did for me. I don't see that as a corruption of innocence, I see it more as a chance to grow, for them and myself.

But this was a full-grown man. And not just once. He referred to me as "it" probably five times in the first twenty minutes of this dinner.

While I have no problem with being called a woman, girl, man or boy, I most certainly do have a problem with being called it. It, to me, implies a lack of humanity. Or maybe sterilization - I usually think of how people refer to my dogs once they find out they're neutered and spayed. "It" is used to objectify, to denote "thingness;" I am not a thing, and as a Jewish, Latina, lesbian, woman, gender-fluid, student, retail worker - I am objectified enough on the daily to not care for being called "it." This very objectification is what often leads to violence - violence against women, violence against the disabled, violence against trans* and queer individuals, violence against those members of ethnic minorities. By making them seem less than human, we are saying it's okay to treat them as less than human, even though it isn't. The funny thing is, as an it, I still was treated better and seen more as "one of the guys" than had I been a she when I first arrived. I was involved in conversation, I wasn't carded for my drink, and I was shown "respect" by the waitstaff and even those I was in attendance with. I was invited to talk about football and relationships and alcohol. But what if I didn't want this? I didn't go into this new phase of my identity in order to steal male privilege, and I often feel uncomfortable if and when I receive it. But how can we rest on the boundary between male and female, between oppressor and oppressed, without stealing privilege or betraying our feminine roots, without being referred to as a thing?

I find it hard to bring any of this up in a normal conversation - normal being someone heteronormative, identifying within binary gender identities, someone who fulfills a hegemonic ideal - even when things like "it" do come up. For instance, I couldn't bring myself to ask this man to use gender-neutral pronouns, because would he even understand it or abide by it? At what level does it become necessary to demand a name, a personhood, a right to existing as someone more than it? What do I do if it isn't safe? What if I ask this person to use gender-neutral pronouns, and in his confusion and misunderstanding, he perceives me as that "thing" he unknowingly dubbed me as, and becomes scared of all that I represent?

I'm not at all saying that as one person, I have this profound effect on those around me. But the chances do concern me.

Could a universal state of androgyny solve this? In this sense, I don't mean androgyny as a complete eradication of gender necessarily, but rather embracing both masculine and feminine qualities and living in a dual body. What if we didn't have to choose between boy or girl, and what if the biological sex we are prescribed at birth had nothing to do with who we were? If there were no masculine "men" and "feminine" women, would sexism as we know it, cease to exist? What would the new order look like? We typically see things like this in futuristic literature, and it tends to lead to one of two extremes - dystopian chaos, or utopian bliss. Are these really the only options? In a world without solidified gender roles, do we really have to either collapse upon ourselves or head directly into a kind of paradise? Is there another option?

I find I am happiest when I am perceived to be someone in between the worlds of male and female. To know something about both oppressor and oppressed is to know something about the dynamics of the universe itself. I wear a yin-yang ring on my left ring finger, and I have every day for five years. It reminds me that there is always a duality in everything I do - even within myself. I am good and bad, male and female, holy and a sinner, wise and foolish, big and small. It also reminds me that I am a part of something much larger than myself. While I exist inside myself, and in my community, I also exist within a large student body, a city, a state, a country and a world. I am only as much of an individual as I allow myself to be, but even in this large groups, I am still singular and powerful in that individualism, as powerful as I am in a collective body.

There is a separate sort of privilege that comes with androgyny and fluidity, a special kind of knowing. If we could magically apply the concept of androgyny (and not just gender- or sex-specific, but even race-androgyny) to everyone, what would be left to fight over? We commonly identify our enemies by their differences, whether in appearances or behavior. If we saw no differences, and there was no way to define what is "normal" in either of these respects, what would the world be like? What would it look like? Would it be a mass of faceless people, or a crowd of individuals living fully as themselves, without the restrictions placed on them by their gender?

VAWA

Tonight's post is going to be centered around violence against women. In light of the significance of this week - between all of the controversy and debate going on over VAWA (Violence Against Women Act), v-day, and One Billion Rising, as well as personal significance - it seems appropriate.

Relevant links:

V-day.

One Billion Rising.

VAWA and Native American women.

VAWA home.

Huffington Post articles on VAWA.

Argument against VAWA.

After a week without consistent access to the internet, I owe a few posts. However, I am going to try to appease the masses by achieving one very important, very succinct one.

I do not hate men. As a feminist, I am often seen as a raging, man-hating, no-shaving, vegan lesbian woman. Only half of those are true (sometimes-raging, most of the time too-lazy-to-shave, always a lesbian). I do not hate men, and I tried to be vegan once (amidst my on-and-off five-year stretch of vegetarianism), but I failed. Horribly. The least true of all of these is that I hate men. Most of my closest friends are males; I generally get along with them better than females. They suit my personality and style more. For whatever reason, I like men. Just not sexually. The fact that I like men so much just makes this so much harder.

It is a downright, abhorrent shame that there are some kinds of men (or people in general) out there who commit such ludicrous acts of violence against innocent women. These kinds of people give the great kinds a horrible name, and create a collectively-feared stereotype. These groups make a girl nervous to walk in a parking garage alone after dusk, make it dangerous to walk a few blocks home. They make it necessary to lock doors, carry mace, talk on your phone while you walk alone, double check to make sure your outfit isn't too "provocative," and whatever else you can think of that you do, without even realizing, to protect yourself from violence.

These kinds of people turn the people we love into monsters, unable to control themselves simply because they're male. While we know that's not true, and it seems stupid to even mention it...there are men out there who make it seem plausible. There are people who take an independent woman's strong sexuality as a casualty; see it as something to be taken advantage of - if a woman is proud of her body and open with her sexuality, she is easy, not confident. Why?

Is it because we are still, in some perverted way, seen as property? Maybe something needed to be conquered? Are we the last frontier in the patriarchal voyage of exploration and degradation? Whatever it is, it's irrelevant. It shouldn't be an issue. Not today, in the 21st century. Not when women's rights are table-talk, women's studies programs are growing exponentially, we have women running for political offices left and right (and being so close to succeeding). Society today shouldn't be so barbaric that we can't get into our own homes safely without being terrified the entire way there.

We shouldn't feel as though we have to blame ourselves; we don't. There's nobody here to blame but those who commit these atrocious acts towards women and children - whether physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal violence...it needs to end. We need to stop being told by media and popular culture that whatever happens to us, as women, we are asking for it. We aren't. The girl down the street doesn't deserve to be raped for wearing a skirt that's a bit above her knees. The one who sits next to you in class doesn't deserve to be called a slut or a whore, because she kissed a boy at a party last weekend. The one who turned Johnny down when he asked her out isn't necessarily a dyke, and she doesn't deserve to be called one just for that. (As a side note, we're reclaiming words like "dyke," and "slut." You can't hurt us by using names we proudly give ourselves.)

If you haven't, please, please, please read up on VAWA and the other important issues surrounding it. If you're a woman, or you happen to love one (or many), if you have a mother, a sister, or whomever...you owe it to them and yourself to at least be informed and aware.

Now is the time to end it. I realize world peace is the most ideal goal ever, and unattainable because everyone would have to work together - but that's how this is going to work, too. One person can be a catalyst for an entire movement, but it takes an entire movement to save that one person sometimes.

Genderqueer

This list was linked by POMOCO, the University of Cincinnati's feminist blog, run by a graduate student (and one of my teachers) in the WGSS (Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies) program. I haven't gotten to take a good look at it but what I did see looked awesome :)

Feminist Analysis of Reparative Therapies

This posting is actually based on an assignment for my Introductory Women's Studies course. The goal is to analyze the cause and affect of reparative (conversion) therapies from a feminist viewpoint.

Why is a feminist analysis of such "therapeutic" practice even necessary? Reparative therapies are usually approached from an "anti-homophobic" viewpoint, but it is much more than that. These therapies claim and attempt to end homosexual, deviant behavior. They claim being able to "convert" homosexuals to heterosexuals. Most individuals who undergo this treatment are either coerced by family members (typically as minors), or are trying to reconcile their feelings and sexual desires with their religious convictions.

A feminist analysis can approach these therapies as a method of continuing and perpetuating the hierarchy. Lesbians are often seen as a threat to patriarchy, by rendering male and female relationships as dominant and submissive (respectively), as obsolete. Women (and similarly-identified "submissive" groups) are seen as making men obsolete, unnecessary, and as a threat to the patriarchy by doing such things. Gay men can similarly be seen as a threat, in relegating themselves to "inferior," submissive positions (read, effeminate), by willingly putting themselves in positions below their divine right as males. Constituents of patriarchal institutions and male privilege often can't understand why a man would willingly become submissive to someone of the same innate social status as himself.

These therapies are typically (although not exclusively) promoted by white, religious heterosexuals, flouting homosexuality as an "intrinsic moral sin," or a mental illness, rather than just another facet of common human existence (Bellis, Hufford).

California has recently become the first state to place a ban on conversion therapy for minors; those opposed to this ban argue that it places prohibitions on the rights of parents, and minors who want to willingly try these therapies. The important thing to acknowledge here, though, is that most often, minors who undergo conversion therapies are doing so against their will.

A 2009 American Medical association study on SOCE (sexual-orientation-change efforts) saw that "...[d]istress and depression were exacerbated" by some individuals undergoing conversion therapy. People that enter these therapies are seen as a deviation from the patriarchal norm, and as a threat to the "system," so they are often deemed as mentally ill or otherwise unfit or deficient.

Programs such as this are divisive and tearing to the families and communities that experience and are affected by them. They have detrimental effects on participants and loved ones involved; the results can be just as bad as maintaining a homosexual lifestyle in otherwise conservative environments and communities.

On a more global scale, by embracing things such as "reparative" therapies (which indicates that homosexuality is something that warrants repairing) and other deviations from social norms (here defined as white, patriarchal, dominant-religious, heterosexual, etc.) we are sending a message to every nation and person that to be something "Other" than the patriarchal ideal, is wholly wrong and unacceptable. By oppressing members of our own community we are perpetuating imperialism, Whiteness, patriarchy, and other American societal norms, and forcing them on others, inside and outside of our communities.

Catholic Motivations

In this blog post, a friend of a friend defends his beliefs and sets himself in the line of fire. Go Mike Moroski!

EDIT: Since this post, Moroski has been terminated from his position. There are petitions circulating in support of him and his rights. If you feel so inclined, please add your signature and stand up for Moroski's rights, like he did for yours.

"Library" Listings

The following are books I have in my possession and am happy to share with those in the local area (which I define as reasonable driving distance), upon the promise of a safe return:

Queer Jews - edited by David Shneer and Caryn Aviv

The Inclusive Hebrew Scriptures (Vol. III: The Writings) - Priests for Equality

Manliness - Harvey C. Mansfield

Women At the Well - Feminist Perspectives on Spiritual Direction - Kathleen Fischer

Womanguides - Readings Toward a Feminist Theology - Rosemary Radford Ruether

The Human Quest for G-d - An Overview of World Religions - Joseph Stoutzenberger

Man / Woman - The One Is the Other - Elisabeth Badinter

Women, Birth and Death in Jewish Law and Practice - Rochelle L. Millen

Doria Shafik - Egyptian Feminist - A Woman Apart - Cynthia Nelson (this copy is a little rough)

Women In Egyptian Public Life - Earl L. Sullivan

On Being A Jewish Feminist - A Reader - Edited by Susannah Heschel

Androgynous Judaism - Jacob Neusner

Ethnic and Cultural Diversity Among Lesbians and Gay Men - Vol. 3 Psychological Perspectives on Lesbian and Gay Issues - Edited by Beverly Greene

The Goddess Within - A Guide to the Eternal Myths that Shape Women's Lives -Jennifer Barker Woolger and Roger J Woolger

Sex, Sin and Zen - Brad Warner

Gaia and G-d - An Ecofeminist Theology of Earth Healing- Rosemary Radford Ruether

Sex in History - Reay Tannahill

The Less Noble Sex - Scientific, Religious and Philosophical Conceptions of Woman's Nature - Nancy Tuana

The Caged Virgin - An Emancipation Proclamation for Women and Islam - Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Orion's Legacy - Charles Bergman

Knowing and Reasoning in College - Gender-related Patterns in Students' Intellectual Development - Maria B Baxter Magolda

Science, Scripture, and Homosexuality - Bellis and Hufford

Women of the Forest - Yolanda Murphy and Robert F. Murphy

A Guide to New Religious Movements - Enroth

In the Wake of the Goddesses - Women, Culture, and the Biblical Transformation of Pagan Myth - Tikva Frymer-Kensky

Exploring the Feminine Face of G-d - Meehan

The Five Books of Miriam - Frankel

A Feminist Philosophy of Religion - Anderson

Eve and Adam - Kvam, Schearing, and Ziegler

Sex and the Eighteenth Century Man - Foster

The Jewish Prison - Jean Daniel

The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Matthew Fox

Freeing Theology - LaCugna

Weaving the Visions - Plaskow, Christ

Searching the Scriptures - Schussler Fiorenza

The Woman's Bible - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Priestess, Mother, Sacred Sister - Susan Starr Sered

Celebrating the New Moon - Berrin

The Israelite Woman - Brenner

Girls' Education in the 21st Century - Gender Equality, Empowerment, and Economic Growth - Tembon and Fort

Transforming A Rape Culture - Buchwald, Fletcher, Roth

Ethnicity and Race - Stephen Cornell, Douglass Hartmann

Reconstructing Gender - Disch

Civilization Without Sexes - Mary Louise Roberts

Feminism, Inc. - Emilie Zaslow

Herland- Charlotte Perkins Gilman (utopian novella)

I Begin My Life All Over - Faderman

Race, Class and Gender - Andersen, Hill, Collins

Language and Gender - Talbot

Read My Lips - Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender - Riki Anne Wilchins

In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens - Alice Walker

A Vindication of the Rights of Woman - Mary Wollstonecraft

Professing Feminism - Patai and Koertge

Gender and Social Movements - Kuumba

Communion - bell hooks

Marriage and Inequality in Classless Societies - Jane Fishburne Collier

When Everything Changed - Gail Collins

The Boundaries of Her Body - Rowland

The New Anti-Semitism - Chesler

Women Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Queer Theory and the Jewish Question - Boyarin, Itzkovitz, Pellegrini

Balancing On the Mechitza - Noach Dzmura

Coming of Cosmic Christ - Matthew Fox

Maiden, Mother, Crone - Conway

Buddhist Women On the Edge - Marianne Dresser

Meditation - OSHO

Gender and Judaism - Rudavsky

Breaking the Spell - Daniel C. Dennett

The Hebrew Goddess - Patai

Victory to the Mother - Erndl

Like Bread On the Seder Plate - Alpert

Deborah, Golda and Me - Letty Cotty Pogrebin

Standing Again At Sinai - Judith Plaskow

Study of Talmud - Rabinowitz

How Jews Became White Folks - Brodkin

Jews and Gender - XVI, Oxford

Transgendering Faith - Tigert and Tirabassi

Signposts On the Way of Torah - Neusner

Tradition In A Rootless World - Davidman

Jewish Dimensions of Social Justice - Vorspan, Saperstein

Identity Papers - Meyers

Defecting In Place - Winter, Lummis, Stokes

Toward a Recognition of Androgyny - Zeilbrun

Women, Birth and Death in Jewish Law and Practice - Miller

Discipleship of Equals - Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza

Celebrating the New Moon - Berrin

Torah Queeries - Drinkwater, Lesser, Shneer

Siddur Sha'ar Zahav

Kabbalah for Students

Genesis of Justice - Dershowitz

Jewish Magic and Superstition - Trachtenberg

Everything Is God - The Radical Path of Nondual Judaism - Jay Michaelson

When God Was A Woman - Merlin Stone

As you can probably tell, most of them have to do with spirituality and theology (particularly feminist theology).